The choosing/chosen problem exists for those who find themselves, truly, “in love.”

While there is a perfectly coherent way to describe the experience of the persons “choosing” the other.  There is also a perfectly coherent description of experience where the two people find themselves inexplicably drawn, bound, and captured by the other such that, in retrospect, you wonder how it could have been any other way.

Strangely, this doesn’t seem to be objectionable to people in love the way it can be objectionable to High Calvinists and Arminians.

Naturally, I align myself with the lovers, not the Calvinists or Arminians.  This is where we get the phrase, “I’m a lover, not a predestination/free-will argumentatist.”

And it lets one live in the place where you say to your friend, “I found the perfect match for you!” and then do all the things that good friends do to bring their friend in the presence of this perfect match.